Frankenstein (1931)

Frankenstein

This post is a proud part of the Movie Scientist Blogathon hosted by Christina Wehner and Silver Screenings. Visit those websites to check out all the participants’ entries.

In the early 80’s, my parents took me to Universal Studios. While we were waiting in line to get inside, Frankenstein’s monster was over in the corner, up against a wall, just kind of hanging out. Not moving. But I suspected one of two things: that it wasn’t a mannequin but a real person under makeup; or, most worrying, that it really was Frankenstein’s monster. My parents asked me to go stand in front of him so they could take a picture. I approached him with great caution. Turned, smiled. For a fleeting instant, as I recall, I was convinced that it was all right, that it was just a mannequin, just some Frankenstein’s creature that was shot and stuffed. That’s when I felt the hand clamp down upon my head. The picture was snapped. I ran. (I recently came across the photo in an old album, and rescued it from corrosive adhesive. Scroll down to see it.)

Although I had an early interest in horror, I wasn’t allowed to watch R-rated films, not until I was older, so when it came to monster movies – always my preference on the horror spectrum – I was either stuck with reading about them in library books (including binder-bound compendiums of Famous Monsters of Filmland) or watching the ones that were deemed safe, namely old, classic films. I learned the names Boris Karloff, Bela Lugosi, and Lon Chaney Sr. and Jr. from a very young age. I became obsessed with Frankenstein, Dracula, and other Universal Monsters. Even in college, in a Creative Writing class I submitted a poem about Colin Clive, who plays Dr. Henry Frankenstein in the 1931 film. (No, I won’t be sharing that. Some things are better left…buried.) Although I’ve generally preferred the more dynamic character of Dracula, clearly Frankenstein’s creation has always followed just behind me, his hand hovering above my head.

Publicity still of Henry Frankenstein (Colin Clive) and his assistant Fritz (Dwight Frye) at work on the monster.

Publicity still of Henry Frankenstein (Colin Clive) and his assistant Fritz (Dwight Frye) at work on the monster.

Frankenstein (1931) is a remarkable horror film, although it has become so appropriated into pop culture that it’s almost impossible to watch it with fresh eyes. After James Whale’s film, Mary Shelley’s original 1818 novel – and its monster in particular – was practically displaced. Shelley’s creature, which is brought to life by obscure means, is intelligent and eloquent, and enacts a cruel revenge against his creator for abandoning him at the moment of his birth. Over the decades many have tried to present the novel without neck-bolts, either on stage (such as in Danny Boyle’s 2011 Frankenstein starring TV’s two Sherlocks, Benedict Cumberbatch and Jonny Lee Miller) or on the big screen (including Kenneth Branagh’s 1994 film Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein); on the small screen, TV’s Penny Dreadful presents a surprisingly faithful version of the monster, even if the story goes in wilder directions. So – the book is fantastic, but it is not the Whale film, and that’s perfectly all right, because the story it does tell is a valid and intriguing variation. The monster never gains adult sophistication; he remains a monstrous child. There’s no epic journey across land and to the Arctic – nor is there room for it in this 70-minute film, based on a stage play by Peggy Webling. What it does share with Shelley’s book is an interest in the creator/creation relationship; the father who abandons his son like the progeny of a one-night stand, only to find that he can’t escape the past; the madness of obsession, as Frankenstein neglects family for his work; and a rumination on what it means to create life. Whale’s film has a lot going on – it’s an intellectual film, and to make the ideas work as concrete things, his landscape visualizes the tormented psychology of Frankenstein and his monster.

Henry Frankenstein and Dr. Waldman (Edward Van Sloan).

Henry Frankenstein and Dr. Waldman (Edward Van Sloan).

That is, of course, the forté of German Expressionism. Originally slated to direct Frankenstein was Robert Florey (The Cocoanuts, Murders in the Rue Morgue), who began planning a film that would rely heavily on Expressionism for its artistic design: slanted sets and stairways of the abandoned watchtower where he works, a graveyard on a hill, its Gothic tombstones leaning over and casting long shadows. Florey was replaced by James Whale (Waterloo Bridge), but Whale kept the design choice. Frankenstein looks like a cousin to The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (1920) or the silent films of F.W. Murnau. Only in the drawing rooms of the upper crust does the film regain straight angles and sensibility. The contrast is appropriate for the fractured personality of Henry Frankenstein. At the start of the film, he has become so focused upon his goal of creating life from dead bodies that he has isolated himself from his fiancée Elizabeth (Mae Clarke, of Whale’s Waterloo Bridge), and frequents cemeteries and gallows with his hunchbacked assistant Fritz (Dwight Frye, in another iconic role following his Renfield in Dracula). Fritz, with his twisted body, seems to represent what Henry’s soul has become. Refreshingly, there are no scenes of Henry debating whether or not to go grave-robbing; he is introduced embarking on the mission without regrets. A short while later he instructs Fritz to cut down a hanged body, only to lament, “The neck’s broken, the brain’s useless. We must find another brain!” This Fritz does, although he smashes the “Normal Brain” jar and substitutes the “Criminal Brain” nearby. (It is impossible to watch this scene now without thinking of Marty Feldman and Young Frankenstein.) By the time Elizabeth, Victor (John Boles, Stella Dallas), and Dr. Waldman (Edward Van Sloan, Dracula‘s Van Helsing) arrive at Henry’s lab, he insists they sit down and watch as he creates life from scratch. “Quite a scene, isn’t it?” he says, aware of their gaze in that you-think-me-mad sort of way, derisive, couldn’t care less. Colin Clive gives the essential mad scientist performance – his initial annoyance at being interrupted succumbs to a delirious, blind pride in what he’s about to accomplish. His cry of “It’s alive!” is orgasmic – crucially followed by the (oft-censored) line, “Now I know what it’s like to be God!”

The monster (Boris Karloff) discovers sunlight.

The monster (Boris Karloff) discovers sunlight.

As perfect as Clive is in the part, naturally it’s Boris Karloff who steals the show. The British-born Karloff had acted as an extra in countless films before, but this was his first prominent role – as the story goes, Whale spotted him in the Universal commissary eating lunch, and was struck by his gaunt features. He knew he had his monster. Karloff was 43, but his whole career was ahead of him. In the opening credits, his credit is replaced by a question mark to add to the mystery – what will this monster be? Maybe not even an actor, but a special effect? Or perhaps a real monster – like what I suspected when I approached the creature at Universal Studios as a kid. In the ending credits Karloff’s name finally appears, and in re-issues his name was featured prominently on the poster, for by then he had become a horror icon. Under the genius of makeup artist Jack Pierce, Karloff endured 3-3 1/2 hours of makeup each morning, and it took almost as long to remove it. It was Karloff’s idea to build up heavy, drooping eyelids, giving his creature a corpse-like appearance which retains a genuinely eerie effect. Pierce’s brilliant makeup design, with the flat skull and neck bolts (for charging him like a battery), quickly became synonymous with the word “Frankenstein.” It’s hard to imagine there was a time when this version of Frankenstein didn’t exist. Imagine achieving something like that in your life; it’s like inventing coffee. Famously, Lugosi turned down the role, back when it was going to be a Robert Florey film, although at the insistence of Dracula and Frankenstein producer Carl Laemmle Jr. he did undergo a makeup test on June 16th and 17th of 1931. With both Florey and Lugosi out, they were handed Murders in the Rue Morgue instead. Lugosi’s most triumphant follow-up to Dracula was the dream-like White Zombie (1932), but the quality of his roles, and the quality of the productions, declined while Karloff found better fortune with a wider variety of interesting turns in films like The Old Dark House (1932, for James Whale), The Mask of Fu Manchu (1932), The Black Room (1935), a trilogy of thrillers for Val Lewton (The Body Snatcher, Isle of the Dead, and Bedlam), and many, many others.

Lobby card for the film's re-issue.

Lobby card for the film’s re-issue.

But in Frankenstein Karloff found his ideal role. Because his makeup relied so much upon his own features, the camera could capture the actor’s emotions, the monster’s fleeting joys and depths of anguish. From the very start the creature is a physical threat, capable of great violence, but it’s the torture-by-torch that he endures from the sadistic Fritz that actually foments any monstrous qualities he possesses. Henry allows the creature to be locked away. He allows Fritz to do what he will. He’s a neglectful father. When the creature sees sunlight from a high window in the watchtower and reaches skyward in wonder, it’s heartbreaking. But the true wrenching moment is one of the film’s most famous scenes, as the monster, wandering free, meets a little girl throwing daisies into a river. Unafraid of the creature, she demonstrates her little game – making the daisies float. He plays along with her, until he runs out of daisies and decides to throw her into the water instead. It’s an innocent violence (and a moment that Karloff reportedly tried to dissuade Whale from filming); the creature is still a child, unaware of his own power. This act culminates in the powerful moment when the girl’s father carries her limp body through a crowd of villagers during a festival. Whale’s camera tracks with the father as he walks, his face frozen in grief. In the background, the villagers are still smiling as they drift through the shot, but their smiles fade as they see what’s moving through the foreground. I love Tod Browning’s Dracula, but moments like this prove why Whale pulled off the better film. Unlike a lot of early Talkies, Frankenstein doesn’t forget the lessons of the Silent Era. You could watch the film without sound and understand it perfectly.

The original Mad Scientist.

The original Mad Scientist.

While the monster enacts his tragedy – born, abused, misunderstood, hunted – Clive’s Henry Frankenstein emerges from his delirium and into the sunlight with the promise of a happy marriage with Elizabeth. He’s a new man, like an addict who’s successfully gone cold turkey. “My work – those horrible days and nights – I couldn’t think of anything else,” he says. He’s healed by Elizabeth, but he’s also walked away from his creation. Similar to Shelley’s novel, his sin is not just creating life with the hubris of a man who wants to imitate God, but in not properly nurturing the life he’s created. There’s a toast in the film – “Here’s to the son to the house of Frankenstein!” – which indicates that his path will now take him to nature’s preferred method of creating life. But Henry can’t cut the ties to his creation, and the monster goes after Elizabeth. Ultimately Henry will find himself tracking down the creature as it flees the prototypical lynch mob of angry villagers. A windmill burns, and the monster screams, surrounded by fire. There’s almost something ritualistic about the film. It’s myth-making, separate from the novel. There would be interesting sequels, including Whale’s phenomenal Bride of Frankenstein (1935) and Rowland V. Lee’s Son of Frankenstein (1939). There would be the monster mashes of the 40’s, and the resurgence of Frankenstein and his creation(s) by Hammer in the 50’s through the 70’s, with Peter Cushing as a more coldly calculating doctor, unafraid to get his hands bloody. But there’s an undiminished spark in the 1931 film which remains untouchable. It’s the spark of creating a new life from an 1818 novel – of stitching together something unique, which will march on no matter how many windmills come crashing down.

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A Thousand and One Nights (1969)

1001 Nights

Ralph Bakshi’s Fritz the Cat (1972) may have been the first X-rated animated film, but three years before its release Japan had already begun testing the boundaries of adult animation with A Thousand and One Nights (Sen’ya ichiya monogatari, aka One Thousand and One Nights, aka Arabian Nights; 1969). The film sprung from the imagination of Osamu Tezuka, the Walt Disney of Japan, creator of the manga series Astro Boy, Kimba the White Lion, Metropolis, Buddha, and Phoenix, among others. He was the head of the animation studio Mushi Productions, which helped define anime with its adaptations of Astro Boy and Kimba. The success of the studio gave Tezuka the confidence to embark on animated feature films intended expressly for adult audiences. The first, A Thousand and One Nights – inspired by Tezuka’s own manga adaptations of Arabian Nights – would initiate a trilogy the studio called “Animerama,” distinguishing their intentions from children’s cartoons. The subsequent films were Cleopatra: Queen of Sex (1970) and Belladonna of Sadness (1973). Tezuka was the co-director of the first two films in the series, partnering with Eiichi Yamamoto, who would later direct the seminal series Space Battleship Yamato. (Yamamoto helmed Belladonna of Sadness on his own.) All three films are overtly erotic. In A Thousand and One Nights, most of the female characters are consistently unclothed.

Aladdin is united with the slave girl Miriam.

Aladdin is united with the slave girl Miriam.

At the pre-credits sequence we already know we’re in for a very different kind of animated film. To the sound of garage rock and poorly enunciated English lyrics – “Al-din, Al-din, here comes a man called Al-din!” – we’re introduced to a smiling Aladdin strutting through a heat-hazy, black-and-white desert. He’s almost walking with an R. Crumb Keep on Truckin’ stride; in fact, in many of the early sequences I was reminded not of Japanese manga but 60’s San Francisco underground comix, one of several ways the film anticipates Bakshi’s 70’s films. He arrives at Baghdad and soon falls for a beautiful, large-eyed girl being sold in a slave market, Miriam. Just as Havaslakum, the spoiled son of the captain of the guard, purchases Miriam, a dust devil sweeps out of the desert and into Baghdad. Aladdin takes the opportunity to steal away with the girl. They consummate their love in a scene which substitutes pornography with symbolism: a slow pan down Miriam’s navel cuts to a budding rose, and we dive down a red tunnel in its blossom, a gyno-floral sequence reminiscent of the sexual animated scene in Pink Floyd The Wall (1982), minus the toxic misogyny. Afterward, they learn the house into which they’ve broken belongs to the wealthy Suleiman, who locks them inside so he can watch their couplings for his own pleasure. When Havaslakum discovers that Suleiman is holding Miriam, he persuades his father, the captain of the guard, and his father’s assistant, the scheming Badli, to bring down Suleiman. Badli rides into the desert and meets with the leader of the Forty Thieves, who reside in a cave that can only be opened by saying “Open Sesame” (or, in this Japanese rendition, “Open Gingili”). The thieves are portrayed in the broadest of caricatures, fighting each other and gang-banging a girl in a scene that looks like Bakshi drew it himself. The chief of the bandits has a red-haired daughter, Madhya, who possesses a fiery temper and walks about with one breast exposed and one covered, like an Amazonian. After Badli persuades the thieves to attack Suleiman’s mansion, he corners Madhya in a field and rapes her. She swears she will have her revenge. The bandits follow through on their assault, killing Suleiman in the process, and Miriam and Aladdin are seized by the Baghdad guard. Aladdin is accused of murdering Suleiman and tortured (with a pendulum blade straight out of “The Pit and the Pendulum”). He escapes and discovers the lair of the Forty Thieves where he dives Scrooge McDuck-style into a pile of stolen gold. He meets Madhya, and they escape together riding a magical flying hobby horse in the shape of a unicorn. Back in Baghdad, Miriam dies while gives birth to a daughter.

A Rukh attacks Aladdin's ship.

A Rukh attacks Aladdin’s ship.

Aladdin and Mahdya crash on a snake-shaped island, brought down by what at first appear to be blue tentacles. We learn they are the long tresses of one of the island’s inhabitants, a collective of nude, siren-like women lounging on the beach. Aladdin, transfixed with lust, wishes to stay, and the heartbroken Mahdya departs on her flying unicorn. A pair of intensely stylized sex scenes follow, remarkable hand-drawn animation in which abstract lines and shapes resolve themselves into merging and penetrating bodies. Between these avant-garde sex sessions, Aladdin eats fruit from an erotically-shaped tree at the behest of a smiling serpent, and later he spies upon his lover, the mistress of the island, turning into that very snake. Discovered, she attacks Aladdin, and he’s pursued by all the women, who reveal themselves to be more serpents (one of whom is in the act of consuming another). He takes refuge on a ship, but it’s attacked by a giant Rukh. The ship’s crew come to another island which is occupied by a three-eyed giant. The Rukh attacks the giant in a sort of Ray Harryhausen tussle, and Aladdin flees, taking shelter inside a wish-granting ship. By the time he arrives back in Baghdad – fifteen years later – he possesses a wealthy fleet and many servants, and operates under the alias Sinbad. More characters are introduced for the lengthy final act, including two small, lusty, shape-changing djinn, who ride a magic carpet, and decide to intervene in the lives of a young couple named Aslan and Yahliz. The two fall in love thanks to the djinn, but Yahliz is under the protection of the evil Badli, who wishes for her to marry the sultan. When Sinbad/Aladdin arrives, Badli and the sultan, jealous of his wealth and power, plot to destroy him. This leads to a contest, set in an arena, in which the sultan and Sinbad compare their wealth; at one point they even produce a golden and bejeweled automobile and television set. Aladdin loses the contest but tricks the sultan into boarding the wish-granting ship, which Aladdin orders to sail to the end of the world. With the sultan gone, Aladdin appoints himself the ruler of Baghdad. He immediately takes an interest in Yahliz, struck by her resemblance to Miriam – unaware that she is actually his own daughter. Power mad, Aladdin orders the erection of a great tower (resembling the Tower of Babel), so high, he demands, that it must touch the sun. Its construction drains Baghdad’s resources and threatens to topple onto the city. Eager to undo Sinbad, Badli reveals before the royal court that Yahliz is Aladdin’s daughter, and accuses him of incest – but Aslan, Yahliz’s lover, declares that Aladdin never consummated his infatuation, for the night Aladdin tried to seduce Yahliz, she found herself in Aslan’s arms instead. Finally, Mahdya arrives to take revenge on Badli, killing him, and Aladdin, removed from the throne, finds himself back in the desert, walking away happily as his psych-rock theme plays on the soundtrack.

The sultan's mechanical swordsman.

The sultan’s mechanical swordsman.

The animation of A Thousand and One Nights is varied, not fitting neatly into the expected anime style. Aladdin has a big nose, and his physical movements occasionally call to mind old Popeye cartoons. Miriam and Yahliz are drawn in an altogether different style, influenced, it seems, by Persian art. The erotic scenes seem to excite the imagination of Tezuka and Yamamoto the most, in particular the island of serpent women, which plays like a dazzling stream-of-consciousness experiment, and reminds us of what we lose when animation isn’t produced by human hand one cel at a time. (Keep an eye out for a Tezuka gag when panning across the rubble of Aladdin’s tower: one of the bricks says “Made in Japan.”) Some of the backgrounds, particularly in Baghdad, might remind animation buffs of Richard Williams’ unfinished would-be masterpiece The Thief and the Cobbler, though it’s not quite as dexterous or ambitious in style (what is?). The film is also notable for combining animation with live action. Some of the ocean scenes are depicted with the animated characters looking out on a real ocean, and other shots, such as Aladdin’s tower and some of the cupolas of Baghdad, involve colorful and detailed miniatures. Other moments are told in still frames, forming a layout on the screen like a page from Tezuka’s manga. The soundtrack is a hodgepodge of rock ‘n’ roll, classical music (including Rimsky-Korsakov’s “Scheherazade”), and the film’s composer, frequent Tezuka collaborator Isao Tomita. But the achievement of the film is the sum of its parts. At 130 minutes, and telling not just one story but many connecting stories in tribute to the ancient Arabian Nights, the film has the feel of an animated epic. Its commitment to retaining the sexual frankness of the original text, from overt eroticism to the mere admission of such concepts as rape, pregnancy, and childbirth, staked out new ground for animated cinema, even though the film barely screened in the West.

1001 Nights

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Can Heironymus Merkin Ever Forget Mercy Humppe and Find True Happiness? (1969)

Can Hieronymus Merkin Ever Forget Mercy Humppe

Anthony Newley (1931-1999) was a British singer, songwriter, and actor best known for writing songs like “Feeling Good,” “Goldfinger,” and the score to Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory (1971). With his crooning voice and mammoth twitching eyebrows, he became a popular performer with hits like “Personality,” and appeared frequently on television and on the stage (notably in his musical Stop the World – I Want to Get Off). He also appeared in the 1967 musical Doctor Doolittle, and while enduring a protracted, troubled production shoot, and allegedly anti-Semitic abuse from star Rex Harrison, the frustrated Newley began to conceive his own project, a semi-autobiographical movie musical that would be more audacious than anything in Doolittle. The story would be a thinly veiled autobiography (the best kind), covering such matters as his stratospheric rise as a pop performer, the death of his first child, his failed marriages, and his womanizing. He composed the music with lyricist Herbert Kretzmer, who had written the novelty song “Goodness Gracious Me” for Sophia Loren and Peter Sellers (Kretzmer’s greatest success would come much later with his contributions to Les Misérables). The proposed film was a vanity project, but a self-conscious one, commenting constantly on the main character’s selfishness and libido. Universal finally agreed to back the film with Newley as its star, co-writer, composer, producer, and director. It was a British film, produced by Universal’s British subsidiary, and released in 1969 with an edgy X rating. This was the period when Hollywood was beginning to admit it didn’t know what audiences wanted anymore, but adult entertainment was a strong bet. United Artists would win the Oscar for Best Picture for that year’s X-rated Midnight Cowboy. Elsewhere, Fox was about to hand its keys to Russ Meyer, who had scored an independent hit with his X-rated Vixen! (1968); he delivered Beyond the Valley of the Dolls (1970) – though he later said he would have made it racier if he’d known it was going out with an X. Warner Bros. was to release the X-rated Sidney Lumet film Last of the Mobile Hot Shots (1970), with a script by Gore Vidal. Newley’s film was stamped with an X rating and given the indigestible title Can Heironymus Merkin Ever Forget Mercy Humppe and Find True Happiness? What I wouldn’t give to have worked the ticket booth the weekend that was released; free popcorn to those who get the title right. I imagine most would just say, “The nudie musical, please.”

Anthony Newley as Heironymus Merkin, Joan Collins as Polyester Poontang.

Anthony Newley as Heironymus Merkin, Joan Collins as Polyester Poontang.

Newley plays Heironymus Merkin, first seen sitting on a beach before a vast collection of his personal belongings. Having just celebrated his fortieth birthday, he calls the assemblage “a monument to my first 40 years.” He wears gigantic sunglasses and leans upon a film projector while delivering his monologue to a captive audience – the spellbound, admiring mother (Patricia Hayes, A Fish Called Wanda) and his two small children, Thumbelina and Thaxted (played by Newley’s children Tara and Alexander). This beach, shot on location in Malta, becomes the main setting of the film, like a Beckett play, with many surreal scenes impressively staged against the backdrop of cliffs and crashing waves. At one point, a line of women snake down the sands toward Merkin’s waiting bed; later, when he marries his first wife Filigree Fondle (Judy Cornwell, Whoever Slew Auntie Roo?), the beach becomes the setting of a Catholic church without walls, its three stained glass windows suspended in the air. As a director, Newley excels at conjuring such striking visuals. A flashback to his childhood shows his uncle, a stage performer operating under the name Poindexter Limelight (Bruce Forsyth, Bedknobs and Broomsticks), playing a giant piano while wearing stilts, an image which surely influenced the Elton John appearance in Ken Russell’s Tommy (1975). (With its music, sex, and surrealism, Merkin is reminiscent of Russell’s entire oeuvre.) Merkin is screening footage from a film he’s made about his own life, a film that’s not yet finished. As day drags into night, he’s joined by a film crew led by another director, also played by Newley. Merkin’s writers and producers agonize over the film’s lack of commercial appeal. A trio of critics deride the film as pornography, and mention that Fellini has done all this before, and better. Occasionally a figure called The Presence appears to torment Merkin with parables of death – actually just bad Borscht Belt jokes delivered by vaudeville comedian George Jessel in a white suit and a parasol in his hand.

Heironymus Merkin plays chess with the figures from his past.

Heironymus Merkin plays chess with the figures from his past.

Merkin begins his career as a child performer wearing clown makeup and operated by marionette strings. As a young adult, he’s introduced to the pleasures of women by an apparition named Goodtime Eddie Filth, played by none other than Uncle Miltie himself, comedian Milton Berle (It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World), and who first appears in elaborate goat make-up, having just arrived from Hell. (Later in the film Berle hosts a Satanic ceremony, dressed in a red cloak and hovering over one of the film’s many naked blondes.) Berle materializes the eye-popping Margaret Nolan of Goldfinger (1964) and various men’s magazines. “She has a very small mind,” Berle admits, and as the camera focuses on her breasts, he adds, “but the rest of her is very intelligent.” Scoring a hit with the cabaret-style “Piccadilly Lilly,” Merkin spends his free time bedding admiring fans (female or male – but mostly female). Amidst the sex, Newley sprinkles some artistic pretentiousness by linking his character with the Harlequin from Commedia del’arte, often wearing the iconic checkered costume; he even performs a musical number in a Commedia del’arte play, which is technically a play-within-a-film-within-a-film-within-a-I lost count. It’s during this performance that he meets Polyester Poontang, played by his then-wife Joan Collins. Polyester is sophisticated and sees right through him; after they’re married, she doesn’t seem to mind terribly that he has flings on the side. Collins even gets a Horoscope-themed musical number. While costumed dancers representing the signs of the Zodiac spin about her, she sings to a naked Newley, “I’m a fool maybe, but I don’t mind chalk with my cheese.” (The song is called “Chalk & Cheese.”) Another musical number, “Once Upon a Time,” is devoted to a dirty joke about a large-breasted princess and her love affair with a donkey. It has nothing to do with the plot, but you won’t forget it. During one sex scene, Merkin substitutes a life-size, wind-up sex doll, which has no eyes, although the mouth occasionally becomes a cartoon that spouts word balloons on the screen.

The cover image of the soundtrack depicts Merkin with his "nymphet" Mercy Humppe (Connie Kreski).

The cover image of the soundtrack depicts Merkin with his “nymphet” Mercy Humppe (Connie Kreski).

The abundant female nudity and the cheeky, politically incorrect jokes, make it abundantly clear why this film’s biggest fan seems to have been Playboy Magazine – posters for the film boasted the magazine’s 10-page spread on Merkin. This is really a “men’s film,” like a nudie magazine interspersed with serious articles that might be of interest to men, such as how many women Anthony Newley has bedded. The Mercy Humppe of the title is played by Playmate Connie Kreski. She arrives late in the film, but memorably, astride a pink pig in a merry-go-round like a Terry Gilliam animation come to life. Leading up to this revelation, the on-screen writers and producers have pleaded with Merkin to please, please skip the Mercy Humppe section – but Merkin sees Humppe as the pivotal moment of his life. Having divided his film into chapters, he calls this one, “The Dream of Humbert Humbert, or Snow White Meets Attila the Hun.” With the Lolita reference made explicit, he calls Mercy his nymphet, and quite openly discusses his obsession with young girls to his own daughter, in what is easily the film’s most uncomfortable scene. (Well, that and the underwater, LSD-tinged oral sex scene with Kreski.) As Humppe is unveiled, one of the film critics, played by the always-wonderful Victor Spinetti (A Hard Day’s Night), gasps, “Oh my good God, it’s Captain Child Molester!” It’s one of the film’s many great one-liners, such as the moment Merkin turns to his daughter and explains, “Grandma’s crying because she doesn’t understand the cyclone that came out of her womb.” Ultimately Merkin abandons Humppe, just as he does all the women in his life; she’s devastated by his marriage to Polyester. It’s a bit difficult for the audience to find much sympathy for such a loathsome, self-absorbed character, but Newley beats us to the condemnation; in one of the film’s last scenes, he comes to the realization that he’s a misogynist. He’s also abandoned by Polyester, who takes his children and leaves him alone on the beach – this, shortly after Newley has sung an upbeat number about how we’re all alone in the world and there is no God. As one of the writers laments, “Fade out on producers and writers not understanding and not having an ending.” So Newley delivers his happy ending: ending credits in which all the performers step onstage to smile and bow for the audience, Brewster McCloud style. Is Merkin a good film? Not exactly, but it’s not the disaster its premise suggests. Its principal flaw is that Merkin’s life isn’t terrible interesting – his bio amounts to little more than callous womanizing. The fact that Newley’s a quick wit, a talented showman, and a surprisingly capable director make the film entertaining, and take the premise much further than it should: there’s something diverting, even jaw-dropping, every few minutes. UW-Madison’s Cinematheque screened a decent-looking 35mm print last Friday night, but the opening Universal logo easily explains why the film’s home video distribution is limited to poor-quality bootlegs: Universal is notoriously stingy with its back catalog (if Warner had this, it would have released it via its Warner Archive imprint years ago). A shame, because Heironymus Merkin, with its wild sights and aggressive conviction, would be welcomed by fans of one-of-a-kind cinema.

Can Heironymus Merkin Ever Forget Mercy Humppe

 

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