Gwendoline (1984)

When The Perils of Gwendoline in the Land of the Yik Yak – in its native France known as Gwendoline (1984) – opened in the U.S. in January 1985, it received a healthy ad campaign and a wide release. I remember this because, though I was very young, I saw the ads everywhere and thought, That’s a movie I’d like to go to. It looks like Raiders of the Lost Ark. Of course, it was meant to evoke that Indiana Jones feeling, piggybacking on the 1984 hit Temple of Doom and featuring Raiders-style lettering on its posters (as just about every post-Raiders throwback adventure film was required to do). Here was your next Indiana Jones, Brent Huff, with a beautiful damsel holding tight to him, both glistening with sweat and wearing ripped shirts as they pose before a map of the South China Seas framed by jutting spears. And if “Yik Yak” indicated this wasn’t going to be a very serious film, all the better – it looked like fun. The fact that it was rated R ensured my parents kept me away, but what of all those other kids whose parents were less discriminating? The poster offered something of a warning as it declared: “ADVENTURE WITHOUT SHAME!” Years later I did catch up with The Perils of Gwendoline, on a whim browsing a video store, and by that point I’d at least had some warning that the movie was going to be a bit adult-oriented. Revisiting it again now, on a fine Blu-Ray from Severin which contains both its American Yik Yak release and the original uncut Gwendoline version, I’m struck by how embarrassed I am by this movie. It’s a completely personal reaction. Of course there are countless more explicit exploitation films. It’s entirely to do with remembering that wide multiplex release, suckering in the masses for a deeply fetishistic softcore bondage adventure-fantasy with almost uninterrupted naked flesh as presented by the director of Emmanuelle (1974), Just Jaeckin. Understandably, this would be Jaeckin’s last encounter with mainstream audiences.

Beth (Zabou), Willard (Brent Huff), and Gwendoline (Tawny Kitaen), captives in a village of cannibals.

The source material, not offering instant name recognition to mass audiences, was a BDSM-themed comic in the serial adventure vein called “Sweet Gwendoline” by John Willie, the pseudonym for photographer and artist John Alexander Scott Coutts, who in 1945 launched the influential fetish-themed magazine Bizarre. Choosing a comic like “Sweet Gwendoline” for a cinematic fantasy spectacle would seem to indicate Jaeckin was hoping for a similar cultural impact as Roger Vadim’s Barbarella (1968), itself based on an adult-targeted comic not too well known. Indeed, there are many similarities. Both films are from French directors with American actresses as the leads, leaning heavily on their pin-up sex appeal; both include pulpy, “comic book” style environs and clichés eroticized to the point of intentional camp; and both lean hard on their outré fashions and production design. But Barbarella landed in American drive-ins in the middle of the sexual revolution; the images of Jane Fonda in her sexy space gear, and the mere idea of a sexually liberated intergalactic adventurer – a flower-child in space – were more important than the film’s actual content. By 1984, Jaeckin’s own pop culture contribution, the soft-focus sex of Emmanuelle that lured curious couples into theaters (“X was never like this” boasted the posters over Sylvia Kristel’s parted red lips), was already a decade old. Those interested in viewing erotic content had plenty of options in cable and home video. It was filmmakers like Steven Spielberg who began to alter the marquees in the mid-70’s – Jaws arrived just six months after Emmanuelle – marginalizing the market for more provocative cinema; and now Jaeckin, of all people, was making his own Raiders. As only he could.

Gwendoline and Beth peek in on some opium den sex.

In a Chinese port, we first meet Gwendoline (Tawny Kitaen, Bachelor Party) locked inside a crate that’s opened by some surprised men searching the cargo. That she arrives packaged up in a box and, in the next scene, bound and gagged before a crime lord and his lascivious men at least indicates that Jaeckin knows how to establish his theme from the outset. She’s sought out by her faithful female companion Beth (Zabou) and finally rescued by amoral American smuggler Willard (Huff). Gwendoline is searching for her missing father, who journeyed to the land of the Yik Yak in pursuit of a rare butterfly. He reluctantly agrees to act as a guide only after he’s dunked the two of them and their baggage in the river twice, among other indignities. Gwendoline is not just a virgin, but somehow has never even been kissed; that she falls in love and lust with the indifferent, contemptuous Willard makes a barely-coded nod to a master/slave relationship. Beth acts as a doppelgänger for Gwendoline, so loyal to her friend that she experiences the same repressed sexual desires, which is treated for comedy when the three of them are tied up in the hut of a cannibal tribe. Willard, unable to touch Gwendoline except by brushing her lips with a piece of straw clenched in his teeth – an image which Jaeckin is never able to make sexy, try as he might – delivers an erotic monologue, but it’s eavesdropping Beth who gets off. A PG-rated joke works much more effectively a few minutes later: after escaping, the three find themselves encircled by cannibal spears again. A steaming-mad Beth, impatient with the lack of narrative progress, scolds the tribesmen and leads a march past their bemused stares.

The desert journey to Yik Yak.

No sooner has Gwendoline discovered the rare butterfly than the three of them are captured and taken into the white walls of a lost underground city. To put it mildly, the film takes a turn. The males of this race have died out, and the females are either bald, topless slaves or Amazon warriors clad in scanty leather breastplates and thongs. A mad queen (Bernadette Lafont) rules over this bizarre Atlantis designed for the film by comic book illustrators François Schuiten and Claude Renard. The city is a surreal art-fetish-mag paradise, including impractical but visually stunning torture chambers, chariot races with women pulling the chariots, and machines that have female bodies for pistons. Everywhere, women are posed along the walls and in alcoves and along staircases as though an 80’s music video will break out at any moment, requiring much voguing. Willard tries to ineptly disguise himself as a female guard, but is exposed – literally and full frontal – and the three are taken captive. More rescues, captures, and bondage scenarios ensue, each more extreme than the last, culminating in an incoherent gladiatorial match with giant black shields shaped like bat-wings, the victor – a disguised Gwendoline – winning the spoils of mating with the only captive male, Willard, while the Queen watches. Were there lots of walk-outs when this played theaters? If so, when did one choose to walk out? Probably not at the early signs of awkward dubbing – more common, even in the 80’s, than nowadays – or the equally awkward action scenes. Perhaps when an escape from a Chinese prison is accompanied by a man’s ears getting sliced off by the apparently very sharp bars of a prison cell, or the moment when it starts to rain in the jungle, prompting Willard to demand that everyone take their clothes off (to sling them like hammocks and capture the water for drinking, of course). Anyway, the entry into Yik Yak should have cleared out anyone else on the fence about this movie. This was not going to be just another Raiders knock-off.

Willard is consumed by a pit of sex-starved female slaves while the Queen (Bernadette Lafont) watches.

And yet the film looks spectacular. The X-rated comic book designs of Yik Yak, with costumes nonsensically invoking both ancient Rome and a Kurosawa samurai film, are eye candy of the highest order. By the time the human chariot race breaks out, it’s impossible not to admire the film’s achievement, though it would be hard to justify just why this was achieved. This would make an interesting double feature with Flash Gordon (1980), which also rode the renewed interest in 30’s pulp adventure post-Star Wars, its tongue in cheek, its costume design suggesting some BDSM/fetish leanings (though strictly at a family friendly level). There are certainly some cheap effects, like a lowering stone column that threatens to crush our heroes with Styrofoam; and the film suffers from inexcusably choppy editing, weak acting (though Zabou is fun), and the expected casual racism. But Jaeckin has a photographer’s eye, and both the studio sets, including well-dressed, bustling Chinese streets, and some spectacular location footage in Morocco and the Philippines grant this exploitation picture the sheen of a big budget spectacular. All these decorative distractions make it possible, in brief moments, for the casual moviegoer to shake the encroaching feeling that the director is trying to recreate on a large scale some very private and singular desires; this may not be what you expected when you were in the lobby buttering your popcorn, but this is what you’re getting, and at least you’ll never see the like on the big screen again. “Adventure without shame,” indeed.

 

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The Last of Sheila (1973)

One of the fascinating traits of the murder mystery is that a story can get away with complete misanthropy without leaving a bad taste. All the characters can be bastards, though usually the detective is given a reprieve. The analysis of the crime, the sorting through motives and clues digging down to the rotten core of events, is what matters; it is the process of solving the puzzle, however much it means exploring the private lives of  some very unpleasant human beings. Some murder mysteries, most recently in Rian Johnson’s superb Knives Out (2019), let viewers indulge in the pleasures of the genre while threading the backbiting behavior of its characters into its satirical theme. One of the films that influenced Johnson, The Last of Sheila (1973), does the same, but using Hollywood types as the satirical target. The film has a unique genesis, being the only screenplay written by actor Anthony Perkins and musical darling Stephen Sondheim. The two collaborated on murder mystery parties and scavenger hunts with elaborate puzzles for their showbiz friends, much like the game organized in The Last of Sheila by film producer Clinton Green (James Coburn). The film, then, becomes an extended invitation to audiences to participate in a Perkins/Sondheim party, a celluloid game that can truly be solved before the solution is announced. That it works equally as well as a savage exploration of Hollywood is a nice hat trick.

Film producer Clinton Green (James Coburn) and washed-up actress Alice (Raquel Welch) on Clinton’s yacht Sheila.

After a prologue in which we witness the death of gossip columnist Sheila Green, killed in a hit-and-run after leaving a party, we advance forward a year, as her husband Clinton issues invitations for a week in the Mediterranean aboard his yacht, named after his wife (and production designed by Ken Adam). Those invited include talent agent Christine (Dyan Cannon); fading movie star Alice (Raquel Welch) and her husband and manager Anthony (Ian McShane); screenwriter Tom (Richard Benjamin), who’s desperate for work, and his wife Lee (Joan Hackett); and aging director Philip (James Mason), who’s been reduced to directing dog food commercials. Watching this film after the posthumous completion and release of Orson Welles’ The Other Side of the Wind, it’s hard not to see coincidental parallels between Coburn’s performance as a pompous, jaded, and mysterious impresario, barking orders into a megaphone while kicking up foam on a motorboat, and John Huston’s character in the Welles film, keeping heads spinning while lording over his industry guests – both keeping busy by commandeering their social lives into a meta-movie. Sheila director Herbert Ross (whose credits include, among many others, Pennies from Heaven, The Goodbye Girl, and Footloose) for a while keeps up a pace almost as frenetic as Welles’. We learn that all of the invited, save Lee, were present at the party the night Sheila was killed, and Clinton expresses an interest in making a film about her life. He’s devised “The Sheila Green Memorial Gossip Game.” Each of the guests are given a card which they’re to keep secret from the others. This contains a kind of gossip branding, such as “the shoplifter” or “the homosexual.” Every night, “at 8:00PM sharp,” they will disembark and follow a clue based on the identity of the card and, ultimately, try to determine who’s in possession of that card. Once the person who holds that card solves the night’s puzzle, the round comes to an end. Clinton keeps score on a chalkboard in his yacht.

Dyan Cannon as Christine.

The game at first begins as a boozy romp with a bit of casual infidelity added to the mix, but it’s not long before the guests begin to realize that the cards they’re holding may actually be real gossip about each other: Tom tells his wife that Alice was rumored to have shoplifted. Then, while relaxing in the sea, someone is almost killed, in what may or may not be an accident. From there, the game derails in an unexpected way that I won’t reveal here (needless to say, watch the film before venturing onto the Wikipedia page). What I will say is that the performances, with the unfortunate exception of Welch – playing a character based on herself! – are excellent. Cannon’s hilarious and charming talent agent, based on her real-life agent Sue Mengers, is a major stand-out. And throughout the game, Perkins and Sondheim plant clues in the wide open, many of which are rooted in the behavior, histories, and personalities of the characters. The Last of Sheila, which Clinton says will be the name of the movie he makes, is not just a whodunit, but a who-are-they-really. Buried secrets emerge which have a direct bearing on solving the mystery and where the story goes after the mystery is over, right up to the indelible final images and credits (set, sardonically, to Bette Midler singing a ditty called “Friends”). The portrait that emerges is Hollywood as survival of the fittest, enacted here with murder, blackmail, and casual betrayal. One of the subtle recurring jokes is how the suffering of others is shrugged off by our callow cast: “I don’t like getting morbid!” declares McShane’s Anthony when someone attempts to discuss a gruesome death from the night before, while Alice asks, “Is it terrible, just terrible, to wonder if you can get a good hairdresser in this town?” These people have business to get to, new contracts to chase, new infidelities to initiate. In the career they’ve chosen, murder just isn’t that big a deal.

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The Cyclops (1957)

Following the endearing dinosaur planet movie King Dinosaur (1955), in which the titular dinosaur was an overgrown iguana, Wisconsin’s own Bert I. Gordon embarked upon The Cyclops (1957), writing, producing, directing, and contributing special effects. He completed production in 1956 with a journeyman cast and the giant creatures that would earn him the shorthand “Mr. B.I.G.” Running just over an hour, The Cyclops features a threadbare plot, advances rather quickly to its monsters, and soon enough moves in on its central beast before hurrying through a climax. If fast food were a 50’s B-movie, that would be The Cyclops. Opening, as a title card tells us, in fictional Guayjorm, Mexico, we are introduced to Susan Winters (Gloria Talbott, a busy actress who had recently appeared in Douglas Sirk’s All That Heaven Allows), who has come to Mexico to find her fiancé Bruce Barton. Barton’s plane crashed three years ago somewhere in the mountains of the Sierra Tarahumare, and no one but Susan believes that he’s still alive. She’s arrived in town with three others, helpfully described by Guayjorm’s governor (Vicente Padula) in expositional dialogue before Susan has entered the room: pilot Lee Brand (Tom Drake, Meet Me in St. Louis), bacteriologist Russ Bradford (top-billed James Craig, recently seen in Fritz Lang’s While the City Sleeps), and Martin Melville (Lon Chaney, Jr., far from The Wolf Man), who helped finance the expedition on the hope that he’ll discover uranium deposits and make a fortune. The governor denies Susan’s request to fly into the restricted area where Barton’s plane went down, and tells her, as everyone does in the film every couple of minutes, that Barton is surely dead. This is the kind of movie where the governor explains that Martin has brought a “precision scintillator” for detecting uranium, and that it could even work from a plane in flight. A couple scenes later, Martin is using his scintillator on a plane. We have been well prepared.

Explorers Tom Drake, Gloria Talbott, James Craig, and Lon Chaney encounter colossal-sized trouble.

The four steal their transportation after Chaney limply socks their soldier pilot in an airfield, then fly into the restricted area. After nearly crashing thanks to the uranium-hungry Martin wrestling for controls, they set down and promptly encounter a giant lizard. The next day, Susan and Lee watch as a giant mouse is assaulted by a giant hawk. Lee says, “Now I know I wasn’t imagining things when I saw that giant lizard yesterday!” After the hawk has mauled the mouse, Susan poses the thoughtful question, “Why are they so large?” “I don’t know,” says Lee, “but I intend to find out.” Martin can’t locate any uranium deposits, but he gets radioactive readings from everywhere. Russ theorizes the gigantism might be caused by the radiation. Next up, to further his theory, are a giant tarantula, a giant gila monster, and a giant iguana, some of them semi-transparent, a fact that’s more distracting than the frequent mismatched eyelines. The iguana has a lion’s roar because it’s big, and this is what big things sound like. Susan and Lee take shelter in the river, which offers a surprising cheesecake wet tee-shirt moment from Talbott. After a gila monster/iguana battle, standard stuff in the vein of the Victor Mature vehicle One Million B.C. (1940), the cyclops makes his first appearance through a cyclops eye-POV shot of Susan screaming. “It came for me!” she tells her companions afterward. “The eye!”

Bert I. Gordon’s unique bit of Cyclops-vision.

In a clever turn of events, the giant cyclops soon traps the explorers inside a cave with a boulder, recreating the mythological confrontation between Odysseus and Polyphemus – an episode which had been recently depicted in the 1954 Italian production Ulysses with Kirk Douglas and Anthony Quinn. His sudden reveal, popping up from behind the boulder, is both a progenitor of the jump scare – it’s queued to make an audience of Baby Boomer kids scream – and utterly hilarious, in part because of the over-the-top grotesquerie of the makeup. Part of that makeup is a telltale scar which seems to link the cyclops to Susan’s missing fiancé. Having spent the entire film telling Susan to accept the obvious, that Bruce Barton is dead, her companions now tell her she must accept the obvious, that Bruce Barton has mutated into a 25-foot-tall cyclops. At one point Susan tells Russ that it sounds like he’s enjoying all this, and he responds, “I am – as a scientist!” Inside the cave, Martin begins to panic, offering Lon Chaney his most authentically delivered line in the film: “I need a drink.” He steals a rifle during the night, and later uses it to shoot the beast, which reacts by gently knocking him to the floor, thus removing him entirely from the rest of the story. The three survivors find their opportunity to escape when the one-eyed Barton inexplicably becomes locked in a life-or-death battle with a giant python, which he carefully drapes over his shoulders. Finally, they subdue the cyclops in the manner of Odysseus/Ulysses/Kirk Douglas, plunging a stick into its eye. In the uncensored version of the film, this is graphically depicted, while the monster is reduced to mewling noises. Such a key shock moment, it’s even symbolized with a graphic on the marketing material, with the poster image of the actors inside a kind of spike stuck straight into a bloodshot eye. (As a more honest warning, a smaller image of an iguana is also included.) Credit Gordon for one thing – he beat Ray Harryhausen to the punch, albeit with less impressive special effects. A year later, Harryhausen would release a much more groundbreaking cyclops film with a Homeric influence: The 7th Voyage of Sinbad. As for Gordon, he’d move on to the only natural follow-up to The Cyclops: The Amazing Colossal Man (1957).

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